Yes, I am afraid

There are times in life when real power comes from being vulnerable enough to say, “Yes, I am afraid.” 

Fear can be like an impenetrable wall on our path. We might say we want to press on, to move forward, wanting to feel better and do something new, to live differently, and travel to the next place on our journey but can’t see past the wall.

The wall is impenetrable because they are either unrecognised fears, where we probably don’t know we’re facing fear, that we are afraid, or the fear is hiding or tucked away, and all we can see is that for some unknown reason we can’t seem to move forward. We’re in the dark.

Or we may be entirely conscious of our fear, and simply refusing to deal with it.

I have often talked myself out of honestly addressing some fears, by telling myself to be strong and brave and suck it up, or worse still creating some illusion or story as to why the fear must remain.  

And while there is much to be gained from pressing forward at certain times in our lives, there are simply other times when we cannot do that because our fear holds strong and holds us back.

These are the times to step into our wonderous and uncontrollable vulnerabilities. To experience that undeniable source of the eternal by admitting we are afraid and don’t know the answers.

That is where real power resides. Not in the steely back or the resolute jaw.  

You cannot step fully into your vulnerability unless you are willing to let go of control. To let go of the answers. And in the letting go of the control, that is when you will see the power of what is available to you. 

So gently face your fears, one at a time as they arise. Let each fear surface into consciousness. Tell yourself you know it’s there. Don’t be afraid of what you’ll find; the feeling you have is only what you’ve learned and labelled fear. You could even relabel the feeling as say, potential waiting to be released. Then say thank you to the fear, to be grateful for its existence, and then breathe out and release its energy; let its hold over you dissipate into the ether. Send it off with your blessing and thanks. It was part of you. You can love it as you let it go. In fact, in my experience not judging myself for having the fear is the cleanest, healthiest and fastest way to transform its energy. 

The barriers you have not been able to penetrate will crumble and disappear when you truly feel your fear. Moving towards it will bring the resources you need, to empower you to move on. They are a gateway to inner resources, insight and awareness that will serve you for the rest of your life, and help you develop skills and simply amazing powers that are unavailable to anyone that stays on this side of their vulnerability. 

And you know deep down anyway that the deeper knowledge of the universe awaits you.  

—
Andrew.